Author's posts

Who is Judging Who?

Do you believe that other people are judging you? Many clients report to me that they experience heightened anxiety in social situations, at the gym, walking down the street, making a presentation at work, or going out on a date, to name just a few examples. Their ironclad assumption is that other people are negatively …

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Good Problem Update

People with the Good Problem (good problemers) unwittingly hide behind the belief that they will be hurting the feelings of another person if they speak their mind in a real, genuine way or say no to a request to help. Clients with the good problem routinely say, “I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so …

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Communication Breakdown

90% of all communication is everything but the content of the words. People are always communicating, in fact, people can not NOT communicate. How many different ways can you say hello to someone? Remember how you ran into the guy who you had a falling out with years ago or when you bumped into to …

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The Myth of the Control Freak

Do you consider yourself, or do others label you as a control freak?   Many clients over the years have announced to me that they are major control freaks.  They consider their micromanaging of relationships, responsibilities, and of even fun to be something of an unbreakable habit.  Others explain that, “everyone thinks I have to be …

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The Guilt Formula

Guilt = What do I resent? Expression>Ingestion of Feelings. (G=RSMT X EXP>IOF). Whenever you are feeling guilty ask yourself the following question, “What do I resent?” Guilt is typically experienced when the actual emotion you are feeling is being denied or stuffed back down inside. People pleasers, or those who suffer with the Good Problem …

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Who is Milton H. Erickson, M.D.?

Milton Hyland Erickson, (5 December 1901– 25 March 1980) was an American psychiatrist specializing in medical hypnosis and family therapy. He was the founder of the American Society for Clinical Hypnosis.  He is well known for his approach to the unconscious mind and his creative and solution-based therapy.

The Bermuda Triangle of Anxiety Starring Self-Criticism

Anxiety creates many symptoms, both psychological and physiological.  High blood pressure, irritable bowl syndrome, insomnia, obsessive worrying, and irrational thinking are but a few of the problems created and produced by anxiety.   I have found in my work with clients that there are three symptoms in particular which anxiety loves to unleash.  Anxiety is unquestionably …

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